


The Not-So-Wicked Witch And His Bounty Hunter Boyfriend

by suicider00m



Series: Urban Witch AU [2]
Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: A Little Less Sixteen Candles A Little More "Touch Me" (Video), Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - No Band, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bounty Hunters, Drabble Collection, Dragons, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fae & Fairies, Familiars, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Ghosts, Happy Ending, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Light Angst, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, Magic, Magic-Users, Magical Accidents, Magical Tattoos, Meeting the Parents, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Panties, Psychic Abilities, Rimming, Smut, Spell Failure, Supernatural Elements, Vampires, Violence, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-07-21 22:10:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 16,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7407055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suicider00m/pseuds/suicider00m
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The magically domestic adventures of Tyler and Josh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tyler Tries Potions

**Author's Note:**

> It's here!!
> 
> This is a collection of one-shots (mostly fluff and smut, maybe some angst) that will be posted as they're written. If you have a prompt or an idea, feel free to comment it and I might use it :)

It was dark and cold and wet, basically the exact opposite of what a secret laboratory should be. But beggars can’t be choosers and urban witches need a potions lab somewhere, even if that somewhere was an abandoned Taco Bell under an overpass. Unfortunately, its decrepit state wasn’t the only issue Tyler had run into. For some reason, the annoying neighborhood kids had decided it was the perfect building to vandalise. He had to repaint his wards _at least_ once a week, sometimes more. Not to mention there was the occasional homeless person who broke in and ended up as a cactus (“That was once, Josh! _Once!_ ”).

“It’s still pretty shit, though,” the pink-haired boy said from where he was sat on an empty counter, cleaning his pistol.

Not bothering to look up from the tupperware container he was hunched over, Tyler replied, “Would you rather I went back to doing this in our apartment?” 

“Not after the kitchen sink debacle.”

Tyler hummed in response, glancing at one of the books open beside him. The counter around him was scattered with an array of strange objects, from dried animal remains to crushed herbs and everything in between. Fed up by whatever he was reading, Tyler shrugged and then added ingredients at random. He put the lid on the container and shook the whole thing, nodding decisively once the liquid had taken on the consistency and color of pea soup. He walked over to his boyfriend, holding the container up proudly with a wide grin on his face. 

Josh looked concerned. “Is it supposed to be melting through the container?”

“Shit!” 

Tyler dropped the container with the corrosive liquid, which had begun to eat through the floor of the building as well. He sighed dejectedly as he watched a hole begin to form. Josh hopped off the counter and stepped carefully around the hole to stand next to his boyfriend. He put his arm around Tyler’s waist and pulled him closer, softly kissing the side of his head in an attempt to cheer up the pouting boy.

“I just wanted to make you lunch.”


	2. Tyler Gets His Familiar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's back.

He was putting away the dishes when he first came face to face with the cat. Tyler didn’t hate cats by any means, but he definitely considered himself to be more of a dog person, so finding a cat unexpectedly in his apartment was not high on his list of enjoyable things (for Josh, maybe, but definitely not for him). 

He stared at the cat. It stared back. He tried moving around the room, but the cat continued to stare at him. He even tried hiding in the bathroom, but the cat just sat in the doorway and continued to stare at him. 

“Um, can I help you?”

_“Meow.”_

It was then that he noticed the slight shimmer to the cat’s black coat and, approaching it cautiously, discovered it to be faerie dust. Suddenly, everything clicked into place. He tutted and shook his head, scooping up Josh — who was now a _cat_ — and holding him up to his face.

“I could have told you that “Keep Out” sign wasn’t just for fun, but _no_ , you _had_ to check out my stash of magical ingredients. Now you’re a cat. How’s that working out for you?” 

“Uhh… Tyler?” 

He looked away from the cat, noticing Josh was standing in the doorway with a knife in one hand and their groceries in the other. He looked from Josh to the cat, back to Josh, back to the cat, and then back to Josh once more before flinging the cat as far away as he could. That turned out to not be very far as the cat just hovered above the floor a few feet away before padding through the air to make it to the fridge where it settled down and continued to stare at Tyler.

“Tyler, do you—”

“No idea, you?”

Josh shook his head. They ended up creating a schedule for research and catwatch, Josh taking guard duty first as Tyler delved through every magical creatures book he had. They were a few hours into it, Tyler's head whipping up every few moments to check on the cat (“That stupid smug cat is looking at me like it knows something I don’t!”), before he finally found something.

“Oh shit.”

“What?”

“I think that’s my familiar.”

_“Meow.”_

⁂

Josh tried to look Tyler in the eyes, but he wouldn’t stop staring at the cat.

“Tyler, you’re being ridiculous—”

“Look her in the eyes and just try to tell me she isn’t the devil!”

It had been this way for the past couple of days. Tyler hadn’t slept, only taking his gaze off the cat for a few moments at most. He was obsessed and Josh was sick of it.

“Okay, I’m going to go out for a smoke and I expect you two to have sorted this out by the time I come back.”

“Wait, Josh—” but the man was already out of the apartment.

After his first cigarette he called Tyler, not wanting to go back upstairs only to have to return outside once more. As it turned out, Josh was right in doing so.

“The peace talks are failing because a _certain party_ will not stop climbing the furniture.”

After two more cigarettes and a cup of coffee from the cafe down the street, Josh deemed it safe enough to return to the apartment. Things couldn’t be too bad if the fire alarm didn’t go off this time. (To be fair though, that was mostly Josh’s fault, not that he would admit it.)

When Josh came back in, Tyler was sitting in bed, stroking the cat — that was sleeping in his lap, _holy shit_ — as he read a book. He went over to the boy, kissing him softly on the head before lying down next to him. “I take it everything went well?”

Tyler nodded. “We’re on a first name basis.”

“That’s good. What did you name her?” 

“Lucy.” 

Josh smiled. “That’s sweet.” 

“It’s short for ‘Lucifer.’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	3. The Panties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: this chapter is literally just sex

It had been a long day for Josh, and all because of a stupid broken coffee maker. 

He’d woken up to find that _someone_ had chewed through the wire, effectively ruining any and all chances of him getting his coffee that morning (he was starting to believe Tyler about that stupid cat being the devil). He had planned on making a quick stop at the cafe near their apartment, but Frank had called him and told him that there was a job that needed to be taken care of immediately, so with a heavy sigh in which some of his will to live left him, he forsook his precious lifeblood and tried to make due with half a pack of cigarettes. 

By the time he’d gotten to The Hollow, he’d stepped in three puddles and soaked through the bottoms of his jeans, only to find out that the job was little more than a glorified shitshow. Apparently, some teenage witch bitch had decided to open a portal to the Underworld — what is with all these stupid teenagers? — and Josh was left to clean up her mess. He couldn’t complain as it paid well enough and wasn’t too difficult — or, it _shouldn’t_ have been, except he hadn’t had his damn coffee.

Six hellhounds, five demons, three cyclops, and a fucking _hydra_. Demons were easy enough to deal with (exorcisms weren’t as difficult as the movie made them out to be), cyclops and hellhounds weren’t immune to bullets, and even a hydra wasn’t too difficult to deal with so long as you knew a few tricks. As long as your reflexes were good and you were aware of what was going on around you, you should be able to come out with nothing more than some scrapes and bruises. Of course, none of that meant shit; Josh hadn’t had his coffee. 

He hadn’t drawn his demon trap right for the first entity, so it had managed to escape and warn the others before he finally caught up. Half his day was spent on a wild goose chase before he gave up on stealth and just performed a summoning ritual (which wasn’t a great idea as four demons at a time are much harder to handle than just one). The cyclops weren’t too bad as the demons had perked him up a little, but he wasn’t as prepared for the hellhounds as he thought; he’d forgotten hellhounds were pack creatures, so he’d taken some claws to the back before he’d managed to finally kill all them.Killing the hydra? Well, fire a poisonous breath weren’t a very good combo, especially not in a park. 

All he’d wanted was to collect his payment from Frank, go home, and numb the pain with a bottle of whiskey as Tyler took care of his back. His plan didn’t really go accordingly when he got back to the apartment, but he _really_ didn’t care because Tyler was sprawled across the bed, fingers teasing his nipples, and wearing only _baby blue lace panties_.

“Oh my god,” he whispered, voice low and hoarse. 

“Hey baby,” Tyler said, smile cat-like and seductive, as one of his hands lazily travelled down his stomach. As soon as fingers touched lace Josh was on him, grabbing his wrists and pinning them on either side of his head while he desperately kissed the boy beneath him. Eventually he made his way down Tyler’s neck, mouth latching onto a spot below his ear and sucking hard. Tyler let out a giggle which was interrupted by a soft gasp when Josh bit down, sucking harder and laving at the spot with his tongue. 

“I thought you’d like them,” Tyler said, breathless. Josh just hummed against his neck, moving lower and starting on another bruise. 

He honestly thought he couldn’t find Tyler in panties any more attractive than he did, but here they were, Tyler on his stomach and his ass on display just for Josh. He loved the way the boy was pliant to his touch, allowing him to move his body however he pleased. He made no objections when Josh turned him onto his stomach, pushing one leg up and the other slightly to the side, extended, so his ass was propped up. His hands were still next to his head, following Josh’s unspoken instructions. 

Tyler looked so delicate like that, spread out and waiting for Josh to touch him. The soft baby blue shouldn’t have complimented his skin so well but it did, giving Tyler a sense of innocence that Josh wasn’t expecting to be attracted to. If he thought about it more, he’d probably come to realize that with all the evil he’d faced in his life, it was nice to have something that hadn’t been tainted, but he wasn’t going to think about that when he had a beautiful boy to take apart and put back together, piece by lovely piece. 

“So pretty, baby,” he murmured, hands gently wrapped around the boy’s sides as thumbs rubbed softly against lace. “Such a pretty boy, _my_ pretty boy, aren’t you?” He moved one hand to cup the boy’s ass, giving it a gentle squeeze and revelling in the way Tyler practically melted into his touch. “All yours,” the boy whispered. “Always yours.”

Tyler jolted when he felt fingers press against his hole, twitching and shaking as they rubbed through the fabric of the panties. His hands grabbed at the sheets and he buried his face in the bed, embarrassed over his reaction to such light touches. He actually moaned when his felt Josh bite his ass through the lace, tongue creating a wet spot that made him shiver as it cooled.

Josh didn’t even bother taking the panties off, just pulled down his underwear along with his jeans and began rutting against Tyler’s ass, pants pushed halfway down his thighs and shirt still on. He was too impatient for them to actually fuck, knew he wouldn’t be able to hold back while he prepped Tyler, so he figured this was as good a way as any. 

It was uncoordinated and somewhat awkward, but it worked well enough. Tyler was rubbing off on the mattress he was pushed against, moaning as his body was moved with each of Josh’s thrusts. He felt the man’s cock sliding between his cheeks, head occasionally rubbing over his hole and making his entire body jolt with the sensation. The lace was being pulled with Josh’s movements, rubbing over his balls with an entirely new and utterly overwhelming feeling. It didn’t take either of them long to finish, Tyler staining his panties and Josh staining them too.

Josh practically collapsed, his body ending up halfway sprawled over Tyler’s. The sticky lace was pressed against his thigh and his clothes were making him feel uncomfortably hot, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Tyler groaned and squirmed beneath him, dissatisfied with their current position, and Josh laughed before leaving a soft kiss on the spot behind his ear.

“Sorry for making a mess,” he murmured against the boy’s warm skin. Tyler smirked, pushing his ass up against the boy on top of him.

“You better clean it up, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	4. This Is The End

Josh didn’t ask for any of this. As a matter of fact, he was getting sick of all the witch bullshit. Or maybe he was just getting sick of Tyler. 

He was sick of it all: the way Tyler would order Josh around, shoot down all of his ideas because they were “too dangerous” or “completely impossible,” not let him do interrogations in the apartment. He always felt so inadequate, like he wasn’t good enough because he couldn’t read dead languages or do fancy magic or anything like that. He could shoot a gun and that was enough for him, why wasn’t it enough for Tyler? Why did the other boy have to make him feel so _worthless?_

Josh was done. He’d found someone new, someone better who would treat him better than Tyler ever would, make him feel better than Tyler ever could. They hadn’t known each other long but Josh had never felt this way about anyone before and he knew that they had something special. With a heavy heart, he packed a bag and was about to leave when he was interrupted by Tyler walking in.

“Umm… Josh? What are you doing?”

Josh slung his bag over his shoulder, moving to stand by his new lover.

“I’m sorry Tyler, but this is the end. I’ve found someone new,” he said, picking her up and staring at her with a fond expression on his face before looking back at Tyler apologetically. “I don’t love you like I loved you yesterday.”

“Did you seriously just quote My Chemical Romance while trying to break up with me _for a pineapple?_ ”

“You don’t understand our love!” Josh shouted defensively, clutching the fruit to his chest.

“Of course I don’t! It’s a fucking _pineapple!_ ”

“Don’t you talk about her like that.”

Tyler threw his hands in the air, an exasperated expression on his face. Sometimes he felt like he was the only sane person left in the world, which was actually quite concerning considering his mental health.

“How did this even— oh my god. Josh, did you drink the pink potion that was in the fridge?”

“You mean the pink lemonade?”

Tyler buried his head in his face, letting out a long, pained groan. “Josh, you _idiot_. That was a love potion, moron.”

“A love— wait, you mean what I’m feeling isn’t real?”

Tyler honestly felt a little bad for Josh. He seemed so heartbroken to find out the truth. Tyler just nodded and, as difficult as it was for him, Josh put down the pineapple.

“The spell will fade within a few hours,” Tyler said, moving to put a comforting hand on Josh’s shoulder. True to his word, a couple of angsty, tear-filled hours later, the spell had worn off and Josh was back to his not-so-lovesick self.

“How did this even happen?” he asked, confused as to why he would fall in love with a _pineapple_ of all things after drinking a love potion. 

“I used a kiwi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	5. Tyler Worries Too Much

Josh was late.

It wasn’t that big of a deal, his job was unpredictable and it wasn’t a strictly 9 to 5 kind of gig, so it wasn’t like there was an actual schedule he kept. Sometimes he’d come home in the morning, sometimes the evening, sometimes late at night. Sometimes he didn’t come home at all until the next day, so it really wasn’t anything to worry about.

Tyler knew Josh’s job was dangerous but that didn’t mean he didn’t still worry

Usually, Josh would at least text him if he knew he wouldn’t be home until after midnight or until the next morning. Of course, he couldn’t always do that if he was in the middle of something violent and dangerous and potentially life-threatening and— 

“Calm down, Tyler,” the boy scolded himself. “He’s fine, he just got caught up in whatever and forgot to let you know.”

Lucy, who had been napping on the bed next to him, opened one eye and gave him a judgmental look. How a cat managed to pull of ‘judgmental,’ he has no idea, but Tyler learned that it was far better to just not question things when it came to Lucy.

“You’re right,” he sighed, throwing himself down onto the sheets and curling into a ball. “What if he’s hurt? What if he’s dead? He almost always tells me if he’s coming home, so—”

He paused, fear suddenly taking over his face. He didn’t dare to speak his thoughts aloud; words have more power than you know.

_What if he left me?_

Lucy had opened both eyes by then, standing up and stretching before padding across the mattress to Tyler and managing to burrow her way in between his arms and body so he was basically holding her like a teddy bear. She started purring and Tyler slowly began to come back to himself. Her warmth and the vibrations from her small body grounded him, called him back from venturing too far into the dark recesses of his mind. They stayed that way for hours, and even after she stopped purring Tyler knew she was telling him everything would be okay.

He’d managed to doze off for a little while when a stomping in the hallway woke him. He’d pushed himself into a sitting position, rubbing at his eyes and yawning when the apartment door had opened and smacked violently against the wall.

There was Josh, standing in his doorway at 20 after 1, soaking wet, bruised, and covered in glitter.

“I fucking hate unicorns.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	6. Josh Helps Tyler With A Spell

“Please?”

“No,” Tyler said firmly, not bothering to look up from his spellbook. Josh had been begging him for weeks to help Tyler with a spell, claiming he wanted to understand more about his boyfriend’s life as a witch. Tyler knew he just really wanted to make something explode. He’d been fairly resolute in his denial of Josh’s request, but as time went on, he was beginning to wear down (and it had nothing to do with the fact that Josh hadn’t fucked him for a week). 

“I won’t even do any of the magic stuff! I’ll just help you get ingredients and shit,” Josh whined, refusing to back down. “Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“Famous last words,” Tyler muttered. He just wanted to read his book in peace and quiet, but _no,_ he couldn’t have nice things, could he?

Josh fell next to him on the bed, letting out a wounded sigh. He stared at the boy, a pout on his face and a slight quiver in his lips, until Tyler slammed the book shut and turned to glare at him. 

“Fine, but when this all goes to Hell, I’m telling Satan this was _your_ fault.”

⁂

The Autumn air was laced with the poignant, familiar smell of dead centipedes. The room was dark, lit only by the light of the city at night shining through the window blinds and by the candles that covered the floor. Tyler was sitting in the center of it all, an ancient tome in his lap and a bright yellow plastic bucket in front of him. Josh was silently scattering crystals and herbs around him as he chanted softly, blessing the space around them and their practice. 

“If we’re making a potion, shouldn’t we be at the Taco Bell?” Josh interrupted, causing Tyler to stumble on his words. He glared at Josh, although the difference between his resting facial expression and angry stare was rather slim. “It’s not a potion, it’s a spell. There’s a difference, dumbass.” Josh didn’t see that difference, but decided (wisely) to keep his mouth shut. Soon enough, they were finished with setting up the space and ready to begin preparing the actual spell.

“Okay, first thing’s first, roasted centipedes.”

Josh went over to the stove, letting out an, “Oh shit!” while frantically blowing on the contents of the pan. He eventually brought it over, the remains of the bugs still smoldering. Tyler glared. Josh shrugged. “It’s only on fire a little bit. You can still use it.”

He dumped the bugs in the bucket with a heavy sigh, sprinkling cinnamon and nutmeg over them while chanting soft and low in Latin, voice melodic and soothing. Josh wondered if it would be weird to ask Tyler to chant for him after a long day.

“Goldleaf.”

“We didn’t have any, so I just used the cheese grater on a gold nugget.”

Tyler added it to the bucket, chanting again, although his voice sounded more strained than before. 

“Eye of eel.”

Josh handed him a glass vial with an orb inside. Tyler inspected it for a moment before turning to Josh, confused. “This is an eye of newt.”

“Your point?”

“How do you mix up a newt and an eel?”

“You mean they’re not the same thing?” 

Tyler stared in horror at his boyfriend — possibly, soon to be ‘ex’ — before Josh started laughing and pulled out another vial, exchanging it with the one in Tyler’s hand. 

“I’m just fucking with you babe,” he said, shit-eating grin on his face. Tyler made a mental note to mix dragon shit in his coffee. 

“Adder venom?”

“The pet store people looked at me really strangely for this one,” Josh said, handing him a water bottle with about half an inch of fluid inside. Tyler nodded, carefully pouring the liquid into the bucket. “At least they didn’t call the cops on you. That’s _never_ fun.”

Josh looked at his boyfriend, surprised. He’d have to ask him about that story sometime. 

“Chinese Chomping Cabbage.”

“Uh, did you need it to be alive?”

Tyler should have picked a spell to help aneurysms. “No, Josh, it doesn’t have to be alive. Just give me the stupid cabbage, would you?”

He took the cabbage, now brown and wilted, out of the box Josh had been keeping it in, and slowly began to peel it, adding each leaf to the bucket. He set aside the teeth, a spell to use them in already in mind.

“Okay, next is… cattails.”

Josh placed a bloody bag on the floor. Tyler sighed. “You didn’t know that cattails are also a plant, did you?”

_“Oh shit.”_

Tyler shook his head. “I have some in the pantry, in an old Wheat Thins box. Just bring those here and get rid of _those_ and it’ll be fine.” Josh nodded, and went to follow Tyler’s orders. “Oh, and don’t try and shove it down the garbage disposal again!”

Eventually, they managed to complete the spell, though not without a fair share of mishaps. Eventually it came time for the actual magic part of the spell, which Josh was ready for; it was more exhausting than you’d think to have to put up with all of Tyler’s disappointed gazes. His relief was short-lived, though, as Tyler called him over and sat him down on the other side of the bucket. 

“I’m going to use you as a conductor,” Tyler explained, grabbing Josh’s hands and positioning them over the bucket before laying his own on top of them. “That way you can experience what magic is like without actually having to do anything, okay?”

Josh nodded and Tyler began the spell. The chanting started anew, but his voice was different; deeper, more powerful. It echoed around the room, rippling like water from a pebble dropped in a pond. Josh began to feel a hum under his skin, electricity charging through him and slowly building up. Tyler’s tattoos were glowing; the more they glowed, the louder the hum, until it reached its pinnacle and—

The bucket exploded. They were covered in the contents, a gross, muddy liquid with the occasional lump of a dead centipede. Tyler was glaring at him. Again.

“Tell me exactly why this isn’t your fault?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	7. (Not So) Magical Mishaps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I normally try and update this around the same time every day but I will be asleep by then so here have today's update early woo !!
> 
> I wrote this at 3 am so it’s a little weirder than normal (also it isn't proofread sorry I'll fix mistakes later)
> 
> Also just fyi I know that this is a lot different from the first one but I kind of wanted to make something more light hearted? You know, funny and cute and stuff because I honestly need a break from writing angst. Like I write a lot of sad stuff and I just wanted something happy and carefree, you know? Like let them have their happy ending, and yeah there will be some angsty parts but sorry if this isn’t the same aesthetic or feeling as the first one cuz these are mostly light-hearted drabbles that I wrote to keep me from falling into the void of my ever expanding depression and lack of self esteem :’)
> 
> Anyway hope you guys aren’t too disappointed lmao

Josh knew that dating a witch meant putting up with some pretty weird shit; he was no stranger to stranger things. There was the awkward mind-reading incident in which Tyler learned far more about Josh than he or Josh would have liked. (Although, it did make for some fun times in bed. And on the floor. And against the wall.) 

Then there was the time that Josh had gotten mixed up in Tyler’s potion stash and ACTUALLY turned into a cat. Though, Josh thinks the whole thing was worth it to see the look of abject terror on Tyler’s face when he opened to find two cats instead of the normal singular amount. 

There was also the body swapping episode, but they just pretended that never happened (and that what they did while switched never happened either). So, needless to say, there wasn’t much that Josh found strange anymore, but walking into an apartment half covered in scorch marks to find his boyfriend half-naked and wrestling a weasel definitely qualified. 

Tyler and the weasel both froze, staring at him with calculating gazes. It was an experience, locking eyes with a weasel, seeing such great amounts of fury in such a small creature. Although, the anger might have had something to do with the fact that it was being half strangled by a giant (from its perspective). In that moment, Josh felt something akin to sympathy for the poor, helpless creature. It didn’t want this, didn’t want any of this. All it wanted was to live it’s weaselly life, free to weasel about and— 

“Josh!” His head snapped up, gaze no locking with an exasperated Tyler. “I’ll admit that sometimes I can be a little irrational, but I’m going to have to ask you to trust me when I say that this weasel has to go in the oven.”

“What?” Josh knew that, somehow, in some universe, that sentence was supposed to make the situation clear, but in this universe he was still very, _very_ confused.

“Weasel. Oven. Now.”

Josh sighed, running a hand over his face. He’d had a long day; he’d beaten up some people, got a little beaten up himself, and he just wanted to collapse in bed and maybe fuck Tyler five ways to Friday before passing out. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to help his boyfriend with magic stuff (although we all know how that turned out last time), he just _really_ didn’t understand how cooking a weasel alive would help anything.

“Listen, baby, I’d kill for you—”

“You’d kill for anybody if they paid you!”

“Okay, yes, but not the point. I’d kill for you — _for free_ — but I’m not helping you murder that weasel.”

The weasel, during the course of their argument, had managed to squirm out of Tyler’s grasp and had run over to Josh, scurrying up his body and perching on his shoulder. The brief thought of the weasel being pretty badass floated through his mind before he was pulled back into the conversation at hand.

“You literally murder people on a daily basis! This is a _weasel!”_

“I thought you’d be happy that I’d started to care more,” Josh snarked. They were getting into one of their more common argument topics: Josh’s ethics.

Tyler rolled his eyes, disbelief on his face. “I can’t believe you. You’ll murder people without a second thought but you won’t kill a weasel?”

“Look,” Josh waved him off, “we can talk about my developing morality later. Right now, I’m curious as to why you’re trying to Hansel and Gretel this little guy.”

Josh knew that Tyler knew that he was getting emotionally invested in the weasel, but he didn’t care. He just wanted answers. And maybe a new addition to their family.

_Woah, when did he start to think of them as a family?_

“There’s a basilisk somewhere in the building and the damn things are repelled by the odour of a weasel, so I figured—”

Josh couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing, ended up doubled over with tears in his eyes over how hilarious the whole situation was. Tyler was trying to burn a weasel alive because of some bitch-ass _basilisk._ It was a few minutes before he had calmed down completely, and by then Tyler had given up on even trying to look disappointed; he just looked exhausted and vaguely confused. 

“I got this, babe,” Josh said, walking over and giving Tyler a kiss on the side of the head before grabbing a few of his boyfriend’s handheld scrying mirrors and walking out of the apartment.

It only took him about ten minutes to hunt down the basilisk and lure it out into the open, with the help of his new furry friend. He set up the mirrors around the hallway and waited around the corner, emerging when he heard the deathly chicken screech (basilisks are fucking _weird,_ man) to find a stone statue of a rooster with a snake’s tail, a weasel sitting on its head, triumphant.

After lugging the statue into the apartment, he explained to Tyler, “They die if they look in a mirror,” before grabbing the boy and falling into bed with him. They’d probably have sex later, but for now Josh just wanted to hold his sweet, _stupid_ witch boy.

“You’re not keeping the weasel,” Tyler said, indignant and with the slightest pout of his lips. Josh just grinned and kissed him.

“I so am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmk if you caught my STRANGE reference ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> also would any of y’all be interested if I posted Josh’s bestiary as a work? I have like half of it written but I stopped because I didn’t think anyone would want to read it, comment and let me know what you think on that idea. or not. idk do what you want.
> 
> also I read all of your comments and I think they're all amazing and you're all amazing I just have issues interacting with people so I'm sorry I don't reply often just know that I see them and they are hugely appreciated and yeah this is what happens when I post without sleep


	8. Josh Never Learns

After the love potion incident, Josh really should have known not to drink unmarked liquids he found in the fridge. Unfortunately, Josh never learned from his mistakes unless said mistakes had threatened his life, so Josh did not, in fact, know not to drink unmarked liquids he found in the fridge, which is exactly what he had done. 

“Shut up, Ruby,” Josh said to the seemingly smug cat, staring at him from atop the fridge next to an equally-as-smug looking weasel. “You too, Oscar.” (It was short for Oscar Meyer Weasel.)

He had been so certain that it was iced tea; it looked like iced tea, it smelled like iced tea, so it _was_ iced tea, right?

“Not right,” Tyler said, trying (and failing) to stifle his laughter. “Not right at all.”

Josh pouted. “I hate you.”

Tyler moved closer, pecking the other man’s frown and running a hand through his hair. “I think the blue suits you. Makes you look more badass.”

“Ah, yes,” Josh replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “It’s not like my _gun_ did anything for that.” He sighed, leaning forward to rest his forehead on Tyler’s. “Can you change it back?”

“Sure,” Tyler said. He pecked his boyfriend again before darting away, throwing over his shoulder as he left the apartment, “But I won’t!”

The rest of the week saw Josh begging Tyler to change his hair back to its natural brown. He tried everything he could think of: buying him new spell books, offering to hand-gather all of Tyler’s magical ingredients for the next month (we all know how that turned out last time), even withholding sex — although that one didn’t last very long ( _those damn panties_ ); none of it worked as Tyler remained steadfast in his refusal to change the color.

Josh even went so far as to change it back himself, using that cheap grocery store hair dye and rinsing it out in the kitchen sink only to find that, apparently, magically colored hair couldn’t be changed without magic. Eventually, Josh gave up and resigned himself to being stuck with blue hair until Tyler grew bored of it.

(And as far as anyone else was concerned, it definitely had _not_ started to grow on him in any way whatsoever.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends


	9. Josh Keeps Falling (For Tyler)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's short but sweet, hope y'all like it :)

Josh swore loudly as he tripped over yet another one of Tyler’s books he had left on the floor. He was getting pretty damn sick of constantly stumbling over spell books and diaries, always left in the most random of places. Just the other day, he was getting out of the shower when he stepped on one, cursing and flailing as he fell to the floor. He’d also found a book in the _freezer_ of all places, right beneath the emergency stash of vodka. 

This was the last straw.

“Tyler!” The boy on the bed looked up, confused. “There is a bookcase for a reason!” 

He rolled his eyes, going back to his book. “It’s my apartment, I make the rules.”

Josh scoffed. “We both live here, so I think I get a say in this.”

“You don’t pay rent,” Tyler pointed out, “so you don’t technically live here.”

“That’s mildly concerning, you know, considering the lease on my apartment ended a month ago.” Josh bent down and picked up the book, turning around to find a place for it so Tyler wouldn’t be able to see the insecurity on his face.

Tyler was… well, he was _Tyler._ Josh liked him, he _really_ liked him, and he really wanted this to work. He’d been in enough placeholder relationships and one-night stands to know when something special came into his life, and to not let it go without a fight. He’d figured out pretty soon on that Tyler was something special.

“Well,” Tyler said thoughtfully, “if you start paying rent, then _maybe_ I won’t toss you out on the streets.”

Josh dropped the book. 

“Is that your way of asking me to move in?” he asked, turning around to face the boy.

“I’m not asking you to move in, you’ve done that already,” Tyler said, rolling his eyes. “I’m asking you to pay the damn rent.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends


	10. Josh Wants To Believe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess which character is getting their own story in this 'verse :^)

He first brought up the topic when they were lying in bed, Tyler straddling him as he stitched up a deep gash in Josh’s side. Goddamn wendigos. 

“Do you ever worry that our apartment is haunted?”

“It’s not,” Tyler said, sure of his answer. His hands were steady as he moved the needle through Josh’s skin; he’d come a long way from the naive kid who couldn’t look at a corpse. 

“But how do you _know?”_ he persisted. “There could be a ghost in here watching TV with us and we’d never even know.”

“Well, that would be kind of hard, considering we don’t have a TV.”

Josh waved him off, wincing as the movement pulled at his stitching. “You know what I mean. Seriously, Tyler, what if there _is_ a ghost?”

Tyler tied up the stitching and shifted up to softly kiss his boyfriend. “I promise you, there is not a ghost in our apartment.”

⁂

Despite Tyler’s reassurances, Josh continued to keep up with his ghost theory. He was adamant that they had a ghost infestation, going so far as to try and film the apartment one night; it didn’t really work, though, as his phone died about an hour into it (which he claimed was the fault of the ghost). At one point he even bought a ouija board, which Tyler promptly threw out the window and berated Josh just for thinking that was a good idea.

Josh got so obsessed that he started to look up ghost banishment spells, and Tyler figured it was time to put an end to this nonsense; he called William.

William was a tall, lanky boy who was the epitome of ‘hipster.’ He almost exclusively owned skinny jeans and vintage sweaters that were two sizes too large, wore his hair long and wavy or in a messy bun, and even had the glasses to complete the look; he drank too much coffee, didn’t get enough sleep, and smoked even more than Josh. He was also the best damn medium in the whole city. 

“So, what you’re saying,” Josh said speculatively, “is that you can see ghosts?”

William shook his head and continued walking around the apartment, one hand trailing along the walls as he moved. “No, not in the way you think,” he said, pausing to stop and inspect a particular spot. “I can feel them though, feel the way the disturb the energy around them. I’m pretty good at getting them to talk, too.” 

“Have you ever fucked a ghost?”

“Joshua!” Tyler said, mortified. William just laughed.

“No,” he replied, smiling mischievously before adding, “Not yet, anyway.”

Tyler was glaring at Josh, scolding him silently with his stare. The man smiled and pulled a begrudging Tyler under his shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his head. William turned around then, smile turning slightly bittersweet as he noticed the couple in front of him. 

“No ghosts?” Josh asked.

“No ghosts,” he affirmed. Tyler was just about to interject with an _“I told you so”_ when William continued, “But I’m pretty sure that weasel is possessed.”

“WHAT.”

“I’m just kidding,” he said, pulling out a cigarette as he headed towards the door. “If you need anything else, you know where to find me, Tyler.”

He couldn’t help but laugh as he exited the boys’ apartment, leaving behind a conversation about potentially demonic rodents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	11. Promises

Tyler knew that Josh’s job was dangerous — he had to live through it with the whole Anteros bullshit, and he’d barely survived — so he wasn’t surprised or horrified whenever Josh came home with a few scrapes or bruises (or stab wounds, or lacerations, or bullet holes, or second-degree burns). He wasn’t that great at healing magic, but his first aid skills made up for what he couldn’t do with a spell (not to mention he was pretty handy with herb mixtures). 

Still, he couldn’t help but be a little frustrated when Josh came home for the third time that week with glass in his hand and a rueful smile on his face. Tyler just sighed and sat his boyfriend down, going to work on removing the shards from his knuckles with a tweezer. 

“I know it looks incredibly cool, but please stop punching through windows with your bare hand,” he said, wincing sympathetically as he yanked out a particularly deep sliver. “I’m tired of picking glass shards out of your fingers.” 

“What’s the big deal? You always magically make it better.”

Tyler sighed, frustrated. “The ‘big deal’ is that you keep getting hurt by being an idiot—”

“Hey!”

“—and I’d rather not have to claim your body from the city morgue someday.” He pulled out the last of the glass and dabbed at the wounds with disinfectant, doing his best to clean them before gently rubbing in an herb poultice.

“That’s not going to happen,” Josh said confidently, although slightly strained from the pain.

“You can’t promise me that.” 

Tyler refused to look up, instead focusing on carefully wrapping Josh’s hand in a bandage. He had just tied it off when Josh’s other hand came to rest on top of his, making him look up at his boyfriend who was staring at him earnestly.

“Tyler, I promise you, I—”

“Don’t,” Tyler interrupted, voice quiet and timid. “Not after everything we’ve been through, with Anteros and— and—”

“Hey, baby, shh— it’s alright, you’re alright, we’re okay…”

Tyler didn’t realize he was crying until he felt Josh wiping gently at his cheeks, whispering calming words as he awkwardly tried to pull him close without messing up his injured hand any further. He eventually was able to pull Tyler in, the boy’s head resting on his shoulder as he rubbed soothing circles into his back.

“That’s over now, okay? You don’t have to worry about anything like that anymore— _we_ don’t have to worry about anything like that anymore.”

Tyler sniffled. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	12. Flightless Birds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one's so short, been dealing with some issues and stuff.

Honestly, after everything they had been through, Tyler didn’t understand why Josh was still surprised whenever he came home to find Tyler in a compromising position (and not the good kind). Furthermore, he didn’t understand why Josh had to question what he was doing every time; he should have learned by now to just go with it.

“Did you just punch a bird in the face?” 

Tyler nodded, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “I know— I’m majestic.”

He heard the freezer door open, too focused keeping an eye on the microwave now that he had finally gotten the bird inside, but he knew that Josh was dipping into their emergency vodka supply. Understandable but still annoying.

“So,” Josh said, hopping up to sit on the counter. “First a weasel in the oven, now a bird in the microwave. Is a bat going to fly out if I open the dishwasher?”

Tyler rolled his eyes that time. “I’m doing a soul transfer.”

“Why are you putting someone’s soul into a _bird?”_

“Because they don’t last long enough in jars.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	13. Daddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all know what this is going to be about
> 
> also today is my birthday woo

It had been one of those nights where Josh wouldn't get home until the early hours of the morning. He’d texted Tyler, told the boy not to wait up for him, but he knew better than to expect him to listen. That’s why he wasn’t surprised to find Tyler fast asleep in bed, face buried in a book and day clothes still on. He smiled fondly at the sight, considered taking a picture even but knew Tyler would kill him if he ever found out. 

He stripped out of his clothes, leaving him in boxers, and then began to do the same to Tyler. Despite his careful efforts not to wake the boy, his eyes fluttered open as Josh was halfway finished getting his shirt off. He looked confused for a moment before he spotted Josh, a lazy, tired smile making its way onto his face.

“How was your day?” he asked, interrupted somewhat at the end by a soft yawn. 

Josh’s smile widened as he leaned down to leave a soft kiss on the side of his boyfriend's head. “Well, no one died.”

“Mmph,” Tyler sighed, nuzzling into the pillow that Josh had replaced his book with. “You should fuck me. Help take your mind off it…”

Josh chuckled, but he couldn’t ignore the flush that came over him at the words. “Don’t want you to fall asleep in the middle of it,” he said, spooning up behind Tyler but immediately regretting it as the boy began to grind his ass back against him. “You could just keep going then,” Tyler murmured, adding teasingly, “I’ve seen your browser history, babe. Or should I say _Daddy?”_

Josh groaned. He couldn’t help the way his hips bucked forward at that, his half-hard dick pressing at Tyler’s ass. He really hated his boyfriend.

(He really, _really_ didn’t.)

“You planned this, didn’t you?” he said, grinding against Tyler without abandon. Tyler giggled, nodding. “Stretched myself too.” 

Josh shook his head in disbelief, thanking any God that may be up there for blessing him with such a perfect, pretty boy. He pushed his hand down the back of Tyler’s briefs, pushing two fingers into him and slowly but steadily fucking him. “Such a good boy for me,” he whispered into the nape of the boy’s neck, leaving wet, sloppy kisses all over his shoulders as Tyler moaned and rocked his hips.

After a little while Josh pulled his fingers out and grabbed the lube (which they now just kept on the floor beside the bed), quickly shoving both of their boxers off before slicking himself up and sliding his cock into Tyler at a teasingly slow pace. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the boy’s whimper as he bottomed out, stilling his hips and letting Tyler squirm to try to fuck himself on Josh’s cock. 

Tyler moaned, half in frustration, before rolling over onto his stomach and pulling Josh on top of him. “Come on, Daddy, know you wanna.” And Josh did: slow, deep thrusts, toeing the line of teasing. He wanted to drag this out for as long as he could; eventually they would both come but this was special and he wanted it to last. 

He pushed Tyler’s legs open with his own, pinning them apart against the bed. He had one arm underneath the boy, wrapped around his chest, his thumb occasionally coming up to brush across a nipple just to hear the almost undetectable hitch in breath. Tyler, normally not talkative in bed, couldn’t stop the words from falling off his tongue, pleas and promises and whispers of a name.

He maneuvered them so Tyler was on his back, legs wrapped around Josh’s waist, and it was so much like their first time but not because Josh had Tyler’s arms pinned above his head as the boy chanted a mantra of “Daddy” and begged him to go harder, faster, do _something._

Josh couldn't help but oblige. He fucked Tyler like he wanted, like he asked for, hard and fast and a little uncoordinated but the boy didn’t seem to care because Josh’s stomach was rubbing his own cock on every thrust and he couldn’t think of anything else besides what he was feeling at that moment. His eyes were closed and his lips parted, and Josh stared at him like he was an angel. He held Tyler’s arms gently, thumbs softly rubbing at the sensitive skin of the insides of his wrists.

Josh came first, hips stuttering before he pulled out and moved down Tyler’s body, taking him in his mouth and sucking on him until he was writhing as he came down Josh’s throat. Tangled in the sheets, exchanging sleepy, sticky kisses as they slowly drifted off, neither bothering to clean either off, it was then that Josh realized just how insanely lucky he was.

“I love you,” he whispered, no fear, no hesitation. Tyler smiled. 

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is s o b a d
> 
> sinful to sappy in under 6 seconds
> 
>  
> 
> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	14. “Dragons! Why is it always dragons?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're back

“Hey Josh?”

“Yeah?”

“Umm, have you seen my…” Tyler trailed off, looking away bashfully. 

“Seen your…?”

Tyler sighed, running his hand through his hair exasperatedly. “My, uh— _you know_.”

Josh looked at him unimpressed. “No, actually, I don’t.”

Tyler spluttered, waving his arms about in exaggerated gestures as though that would do anything besides confuse Josh further. Lucy, who was sitting in Josh’s lap, let out a purr that sounded a lot like a laugh (if a cat could laugh, anyway). Tyler was just getting more and more frustrated, his cheeks turning pink as he choked on his words. 

“My panties! Alright? Have you seen them?”

It took every bit of strength Josh had in him to not laugh at Tyler’s shyness in that moment. The boy was _filthy_ in bed, but any other time it was as though he was a blushing virgin. Well, not that bashful as he had no problem talking about _sex,_ it was just what was involved that made his tongue twist and cheeks turn red. 

“Do I _get_ to see them?” he asked, leering suggestively, and dodged the small crystal Tyler threw at his face.

“Seriously,” Tyler said, frustrated, “I have three pairs and I can’t find any of them.”

“Three? I only remember two.”

“And that’s all you’re going to remember unless you help me find them.”

Grumbling and groaning the entire time, Josh helped Tyler tear the apartment apart for the next two hours, but it was all for naught: no panties were found. (Although there were some… questionable items in a box hidden in a dresser drawer corner that Josh was _definitely_ going to ask Tyler about later.)

They were collapsed on the bed, exhausted after searching so extensively, when the knock came. After a brief argument and a rock-paper-scissors battle, a defeated Tyler opened the door to a blue-haired girl holding three pairs of panties with a vaguely amused expression on her face. 

“I just got a pet dragon and he’s not house trained,” she explained, smirk growing as Tyler blushed furiously. “He keeps sneaking into other people’s apartments, trying to hoard their underwear. As soon as I saw them, I knew they weren’t mine. Lace isn’t my thing.” She gave Tyler a head-to-toe glance, a knowing look on her face. “I’m more of a leather kind of gal.”

She handed Tyler the panties with a wink, the boy having to pull one hand away from covering hi face in order to take them. She waved at Josh, telling the boys to, “Have a good time!” before heading to the elevator and leaving behind a very embarrassed Tyler and a mildly curious Josh.

“That’d be fun to try,” Josh remarked off-handedly. “Leather?”

This time, the panties actually hit Josh in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	15. Danger In Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I mentioned this before but this isn't meant to be a cohesive story, it's just a bunch of one-shots set in the same universe as the first fic. I just had all these ideas and I didn't want to cram them into one whole story so this is the result of that. just wanted to clear that up.
> 
> so if any of the chapters seem like pretty big jumps, that's why.

Josh should have known he’d end up on the ceiling the moment he entered the room. On the bright side, he wasn’t getting crushed from the inside out; no excruciating pain this time, just mild discomfort. Still, it was a little uncalled for, and he told Tyler just as much. 

He just rolled his eyes. “What do you expect when you just disappear without a word? I thought you were _dead.”_

“I needed some alone time.” 

“It’s been three weeks.”

Josh hung his head (or, as much as he could while being magically held against the ceiling). The truth was, he’d been scared. He’d found a place that felt like home, so he tried to distance himself knowing he would ruin it soon enough. He always managed to destroy what he loved, and he had no reason to believe that this would turn out any different.

“I’m sorry.”

He let out an abrupt gasp as he hit the floor, the air knocked out of him with a harsh thud. Wheezing painfully as he tried to catch his breath, he rolled over onto his back to look at Tyler’s furious and upset face.

“Sorry? That’s all you have to say to me?” he asked, seething and sniffling in the same sentence. _“Sorry?”_

Josh couldn’t speak.

“You _left_ me, Josh, after you promised me you wouldn’t.”

He opened his mouth but words wouldn’t come out, only whispers of empty promises.

“I trusted you, and you left me. Do you have any idea what it was like?” Tyler's tattoos, though they had been faintly glowing before, were now a vibrant red. The air around him seemed to shake, as though he was trying to keep his magic in. “I didn’t leave the house for weeks, hell— I barely left the bed! I spent days wallowing in self-hatred and disgust, thinking about how I had finally driven you away because I was just too much to deal with. And just when I’m finally starting to accept that you won’t come back, what do you do? You sneak in here in the middle of the night, no texts, no calls, nothing to tell me you’re coming home. And then all you have to say is _sorry?”_

The air shattered. Pure magic flooded out from Tyler’s shaking figure, pushing everything — books, plants, furniture, even Oscar and Ruby — back and against the walls, everything except for Josh who was caught in the eye of the storm. Tyler’s eyes had turned red, but they weren’t bright or glowing like his tattoos; they were dark like dried blood, suffocating in their gaze. Anger like love unrequited poured from them, and Josh found himself trapped, though not from magic.

“I thought I mattered to you!” Tyler screamed, his voice but not layered on top of his own. The room began to spin, like a hurricane was forming inside the apartment. “I thought you cared about me!” Faster and fast, until everything familiar was a blur of unrecognizable colors swirling around the small space. Tyler’s feet were just brushing the ground, red magic from his tattoos dripping down like blood before dissipating in the air. 

“I thought you loved me.”

The room collapsed, along with Josh’s heart. It took a while before Tyler would let Josh come near him, and even longer before he’d let the man hold him, but eventually they ended up as they always did: holding each other close on a well-known bed in a once familiar but now ruined room.

Tyler listened silently as Josh apologized but never asked for forgiveness, saying he didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve _him._ He cried as he heard Josh’s confessions, how he had never felt _home_ until he had Tyler and how he didn’t want to ruin the one good thing he’d ever managed to hold onto in his life. 

He wouldn’t forgive Josh that night, nor in the morning, and not even the morning after that. It would be a long time before Tyler would stop waking up in the middle of the night to make sure Josh was still there, before he’d stop jumping when the door opened or nearly start crying when he woke up alone. It would be a long time before Tyler would forgive Josh, but that was okay because all that mattered in the end was that he _would._

All that mattered was that Tyler still loved him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	16. Josh Brings His Work Home

Tyler walked into the apartment to see one (possibly dead) body on the floor and Josh beating up some guy in a chair. His emotions cycled through concern, fear, confusion, anger, before finally ending on a numb, resigned sort of feeling. At that point, he found himself less concerned about the possible dead body than the tar-like substance all over Josh’s new shirt.

“There are so many questions here, and all of them can be summed up in one word: WHY.”

Josh turned to look at him, surprised at his appearance for a moment before exasperation took over. “Babe, I’m kind of busy here.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt, go ahead, keep… beating up that old man.” He went to begin unpacking his supplies, sorting through the new herbs he had picked up at the shop. Mark had given him a discount, because Mark was friends with Frank, and Frank was friends with Josh, and now that Tyler was dating Josh he was friends with all of them (even Pete, who reached levels of annoying that Tyler didn’t think even _existed_ ). 

“I know I’m no use to you dead,” Tyler heard the unknown man say, over confident, “so you’re not going to kill me.”

Josh let out a sarcastic laugh. “You’re right. You’re still useful without a few limbs, so you better tell me what I want to know.”

“Joshua Dun, you are _not_ performing any amputations in this apartment.”

Tyler had turned around to stare Josh down, arms crossed and hip cocked as he glared relentlessly. “I’m trying to do my job here,” Josh argued, and Tyler just raised an eyebrow. “You shouldn’t bring your work home, then.”

“You bring your work home all the time!” 

“My work doesn’t involve dead bodies!”

Josh rolled his eyes. “He’s not dead, just unconscious. See?” He kicked the body on the floor and it groaned, although Tyler just looked even less impressed. 

“Josh, what have I told you about violence not being the answer?”

“You can’t assume violence isn’t the answer, you don’t even know what the question is,” he persisted. “This guy could be a mass murderer, for all you know.”

“I’m not, though,” the man interjected, only to be met with a simultaneous, “Shut up!” 

“Do I need to remind you about the Coffee Shop Incident—”

“You’re never going to let that go,” Josh interrupted.

“He begged for mercy!”

“And I showed him mercy.”

“You killed him!”

_“Quickly,”_ Josh said, exasperated. Tyler just sighed and turned back to stocking his new ingredients. 

“You knew about this!” Josh persisted, not willing to end the argument. “You knew this was my life and you were okay with that!”

Tyler shook his head, not bothering to turn around. “Yeah, I knew it was _yours_ , not _ours._ I don’t mind that killing people is part of your life, I just don’t want it to be a part of mine.”

“Can I please leave?”

“I’ve tried to be polite,” Josh growled, turning to the man still tied to the chair, “but you need to shut the fuck up or I will put a bullet in your skull.” He turned back to Tyler, walking up behind the boy and pulling him close. He wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist, nosing at the spot behind the boy’s ear. “Look, I’ll keep my work out of the house, okay? Can we just get to the _amazing_ make up sex now?”

Tyler laughed, leaning his head back and allowing Josh to press hot, wet kisses to his neck. “I suppose we could do that,” he said, turning his head so he could kiss Josh. They lazily made out, bodies rocking together slowly until they were interrupted by a loud cough. Josh broke away from the kiss, groaning as he panted against Tyler’s mouth.

“Can I kill him?” Josh asked.

“No.”

“Just a little bit?”

“…fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	17. Quit It

“You should really stop that, you know,” Tyler remarked as Josh lit up yet another cancer stick. He wasn’t surprised when Josh light-heartedly flipped him off, jumping up to sit on the window ledge as he blew smoke out the screen (not that it did anything as the apartment still reeked of stale cigarettes).

“I’m serious,” Tyler persisted. “It’s not healthy.”

_“Nothing_ I do is healthy,” Josh countered, and he had a point. He was, after all, a magical bounty hunter dating a witch with a possibly-demonic weasel for a pet. Even if that didn’t affect him physically, the mental repercussions alone would been enough to push him over the edge. Not to mention he couldn’t actually do anything about it as any competent therapist would have him thrown in the psych ward as soon as he opened his mouth.

“Fair enough, but at least you could, I don’t know, stop running headfirst towards your demise.”

Josh snickered, taking another drag out of spite before replying. “Okay, I may be moving quickly towards death, but I’m moving slightly faster towards my lighter.”

⁂

Tyler tried valiantly to get Josh to quit smoking. Hiding packs of cigarettes did nothing, as Josh just went out and bought more (“You know, we could probably afford a car if you didn’t smoke so much.”). Sneaking nicotine patches onto Josh while he was asleep also didn’t help, as Josh ripped them off immediately once he woke up. He even tried enchanting the cigarettes so they wouldn’t light, but with enough tries the spell would wear off and Josh was nothing if not determined.

“Babe, please,” Tyler pleaded yet again.

“Don’t even start,” Josh said.

“Can we at least make a compromise?”

Josh rolled his eyes at his whining boyfriend. “Okay,” he agreed (albeit begrudgingly), willing to give in as long as he didn’t have to put up with Tyler’s constant attempts to get him to quit.

“One cigarette a day.”

“Three.’

“Two,” Tyler said, “and no more.” Josh sighed, nodding reluctantly. 

“Fine,” he conceded, and then added with a smile, “But only because I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	18. Cupcake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Josh eats Tyler's ass like a cupcake

“I’m busy.”

“Please?”

 _“No,_ Josh.”

Josh let out a frustrated groan. He’d been trying to pull Tyler into bed all day but the boy had been adamant in his his refusals. Apparently, he was trying to perform some complicated spell he found in one of his books, something to help further protect the apartment and blah blah blah, nothing Josh cared about; he had his gun and that was enough for him, but seemingly not for Tyler.

He sauntered up behind the boy and began massaging his neck, digging his fingers in as he worked out the knots. Tyler let out a breathy moan, rolling his head and pushing his shoulders back. Josh grinned as he let his hands knead into the boy’s back, taking a moment to slip his hands underneath Tyler’s shirt before continuing his ministrations.

He gently pushed Tyler against the counter, ignoring the indignant noise made as he disturbed the ingredients laid out. He rolled his hips against Tyler’s ass, hands falling to grip his hips and pull him back as his open lips pressed to the nape of the boy’s neck. 

“Hey Josh?” 

“Hmm,” Josh hummed, tongue darting out against warm skin and making Tyler shiver.

“It’s not going to happen.”

Josh laughed, continuing to grind against him. “You look so sexy when you’re ignoring me.” 

“And _you_ look sexy when you’re not bothering me.” 

“Come on, baby,” Josh whined and pushed down Tyler’s pants, slowly massaging his ass. “Let me make you feel good.”

Tyler sighed, his hands shaking as he tried to pour liquid into a vial. He jumped as he felt Josh start to rub two fingers over his hole, teasing him in a way he knew the boy couldn’t resist. 

He sighed, defeated. “Don’t expect me stop working.”

Josh smiled and dropped to his knees. “I can work with that.” 

Tyler couldn’t help but shudder as Josh’s tongue left a hard, broad stroke against his hole. He felt more than heard Josh’s chuckle as he really got into it, long licks turning to quick flicks that made Tyler’s legs shake and knees buckle. He couldn’t help the breathy moans he let out as Josh edged his legs further apart, pushing his face further into the boy’s ass. 

Despite his best efforts, Tyler couldn’t keep with his work; he clung to counter as Josh worked his way inside him, languidly fucking him with his tongue as his thumbs massaged into the line where thigh met ass. He could barely hold himself up as he felt the spit drip from his hole to his perineum, making him shiver as it cooled. 

“Josh,” he gasped out, “please.”

Josh pulled back for a moment, grinning at Tyler’s pathetic whine as he did. “Shh,” he said, in an effort to soothe the shaking boy. He bit at the Tyler’s soft, pale ass, admiring the imprint he left behind. “I’ll take care of you.”

And he did, burying his face in the boy’s ass and eating him out like he was dinner. He did everything he knew to drive Tyler crazy, and it worked; he had the boy panting and sobbing underneath his tongue, begging and pleading for Josh to do something, _anything_ more.

Head slumped forward, legs practically collapsed, arms barely holding up his shaking body that unconsciously rocked back against Josh’s tongue; Tyler was a beautiful sight to behold and Josh could barely believe that _he_ was the reason for all of it. He moved one of his hands around to grab hold of Tyler’s cock, pressing it against his stomach as he let his thumb move over the head, dipping into his slit and making his hips twitch each time.

He felt as Tyler came, hole clenching around his tongue and cock pulsing in his hand, dribbles of cum trickling over his thumb. He didn’t let up after, making the boy's hips jolt almost violently with the painful overstimulation. It wasn’t until Tyler sobbed out, pleading for Josh to stop, that he relented, slowly easing the boy down until he was on the floor as well. He sat and held Tyler, still shaking and crying, running a hand gently through the boy’s hair as he murmured comforting words in his ear. 

“Fuck,” Tyler breathed out eventually, tears still streaked on his face. He turned around to press a trembling kiss to Josh’s lips before burying his face in the other man’s neck. “We _have_ to do that again.”

Josh chuckled. “Any time, Princess.”

He didn’t miss the catch in Tyler’s breath at the name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me Father for I have sinned
> 
>  
> 
> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	19. Josh Overreacts

Josh was used to blood. More often than not, he came home he came home covered in it; Tyler was always complaining about how they could never go out in public without getting funny looks because all of his clothes had bloodstains on them. Half of his job was killing people — or things — so he was no stranger to the substance. He could almost entirely ignore it by now.

However, when he came home to find Tyler covered in fresh, wet blood, he kinda, sort of, maybe overreacted a little bit. 

He practically sprinted across the room, sweeping Tyler off his feet and quickly — but gently — laid him down on the bed, rushing off to grab towels. Soon enough he was back, cutting off Tyler’s shirt with his knife and frantically checking for the source of the blood while blabbering away worriedly.

“Oh my god, Tyler— baby don’t worry, it’s going to be okay, I’ll take care of you— fuck, fuck, what happened who hurt you, baby _please,_ talk to me—”

“Josh!” Tyler had barely been able to get a word in edgewise, but he finally managed to put a stop to Josh’s rambling.

“The blood’s just from a nosebleed, babe, don’t worry about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	20. Joshferatu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates will be regular from now on :)

It was difficult to tell who was more surprised, Tyler and Josh or the group of attackers that stormed into their apartment at two in the morning.

Tyler was woken up by Ruby, who had been hissing at him. He’d just sat up when the door exploded inward and four guys ran inside brandishing various weapons. Josh rolled out onto the floor at the sound of the door slamming against the wall, grabbing his gun and brandishing it as he grabbed onto one of the sheets from his bed and pulled it over his waist to cover himself. 

Almost immediately, two of the intruders were pressed against the ceiling, weapons dropped on the floor in surprise. Josh had his gun trained on one of the other guys, and by the time Tyler had turned to the last guy, he’d already dropped his weapon and was desperately trying to pull a psychotic ferret off his face. 

“Pete?”

Tyler looked to Josh, who was looking at the man in front of him, confusion obvious. The man who was being held at gunpoint had bright red glowing eyes, but it was from using magic. It wasn’t until the guy opened his mouth to speak that Tyler realized the his canines were sharper than any normal human’s. 

“Josh?”

“What the fuck?” Tyler stated eloquently, summing up everyone’s thoughts at the moment.

“Umm… you guys wouldn’t happen to have a vampire in here somewhere, would you?” Pete asked, grinning sheepishly. Tyler let the two men on the ceiling fall, wincing sympathetically as the guys groaned in pain. He called Oscar off the other guy, trying not to laugh at the man’s absolutely bewildered expression.

“No,” Josh said, exasperated, dropping his gun on the dresser. Pete nodded, sheepish grin turning into a leer, and Tyler already knew he would loathe the words to come out of Pete’s mouth.

“Of course not, the only thing anyone’s sucking around here is—”

“Peter!” the man who had been battling the ferret cried out, swatting Pete on the back of his head before turning to face Tyler and Josh. “Sorry, we got a tip that there was a rogue vamp in 22 B. Must have been wrong, though.”

“Pete,” Josh groaned, “you fucking dumbass.”

“This is _21_ B,” Tyler explained at the other men’s confused looks. A chorus of apologies left their mouths as they left the apartment, exiting the room much more quietly than when they came in. Even after they left, Tyler and Josh could still hear as the men railed on Pete for taking them to the wrong apartment.

Josh groaned and collapsed on the bed, humming as gently rubbed his back. He turned his head to look at Tyler; they were both too hopped up on adrenaline to go back to sleep. He smirked and rolled over onto his back, pulling Tyler on top so the boy was straddling him. 

“Pete sucks,” he said, “but I can suck better.” Tyler groaned but laughed nonetheless, letting Josh pull him up until he was straddling the man’s chest, hands moving to tangle in his hair.

“Better prove it, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	21. It's Not Always Tyler's Fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is s o b a d sorry

Josh was confused. Josh was _very_ confused. By now, Josh had learned to pretty much stop questioning things when it came to Tyler but there was still the odd occasion where he couldn’t help but be surprised. 

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Not if it has to do with the chicken in my room,” Tyler replied.

⁂

Less than a week later and Josh found himself incredibly confused yet again. He had no idea how Tyler had managed to do such a strange thing in such a short amount of time, but here they were.

“Hey baby,” Tyler said, leaving a quick kiss on his lips. “Sorry about all the ducks…”

⁂

“Hey,” Tyler said, rushing out of the apartment just as Josh was about to walk inside. He shut the door quickly, leaning against it so Josh couldn’t open it. “I swear it’s not my fault.”

“What’s not your faul—”

The muffled sound of an explosion came from behind the door. Josh looked at Tyler, exasperated.

“Goddamnit— again?”

⁂

“Okay, really?”

Tyler looked up, confused. “What?”

Josh stared at him in disbelief, holding up their resident weasel. “Oscar is purple.”

“Why do you always look at me whenever something weird happens?”

“Because normally it’s your fault,” he stated, as though it were obvious.

Tyler rolled his eyes. “Okay, yeah, but this time it’s not my fault.”

Josh looked at Oscar, even more confused than he was to start. “Then how…?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	22. Meet The Josephs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember when I said I would update regularly yeah rip :')

“We are visiting a creature of the night, a demon of the shadows. Show any fear and it will consume your existence, leaving you a withering empty husk only good to serve as a warning to others who dare to enter.”

Josh, panicked and confused, looked at Tyler. “I thought we were visiting your mother.”

“You are.” Both boys’ heads whipped around to face the smirking woman standing in the door, which she had managed to open without either of them noticing. Josh only got to look at her for a few seconds, briefly noticing the family resemblance, before he was being pulled into a tight hug.

“I’m Kelly, it is so nice to finally meet you,” she said, pushing him away with her hands on his shoulders as she looked him over. He unconsciously straightened up as she did so, flipping Tyler off behind his back as the boy tried (unsuccessfully) to hide his laughter. She turned to face Tyler, smiling wide as she let go of Josh’s shoulders and held her arms out to her son. “Come here, baby.”

Smiling just as wide, Tyler fell into his mom’s arms, closing his eyes as she held him close. Josh watched, feeling a pang in his heart that he recognized as homesickness and he had to look away for a moment. He only looked back when he felt Tyler grab his hand, smiling at him gently and pulling him inside.

The Josephs’ house was exactly what Josh thought it would be and simultaneously nothing he expected at all. It was filled with magical artifacts and items but they were all organized well, unlike the cluttered mess of the apartment Josh was used to. The whole place looked like a slightly off-kilter, typical suburban home. 

Being dragged further into the house, he wasn’t surprised that the kitchen, from what he could see of the view through the living room, was half filled with potion ingredients and half with food. Tyler’s mom was busy inside, adding this and that to a large pot stewing on the stove. 

“TYLER!” 

Josh quickly stepped back as Tyler was pulled into a bear hug— or, rather, a bull hug, if the horns on the guy were anything to go by. Tyler laughed, turning to grab Josh’s hand again as soon as he was put down. “Jay, this is Josh. Josh, Jay.”

The guy — kid really, he couldn’t have been out of high school — grabbed Josh’s other hand in a crushing grip, smiling wide. 

“No offense,” Josh said, “but are those real?”

Jay laughed, loud and booming. “The horns? Yeah, man, pretty sick, right?”

“Totally,” Josh breathed out, kind of overwhelmed. 

Another guy, less imposing in stature this time, came up to them, pulling Tyler into a tight hug before turning to shake Josh’s hand. “Now I’m sure you’re a very nice person, but if you hurt my brother I swear I’ll—”

“Zack!” Kelly called. “Stop trying to scare Tyler’s new boyfriend!”

“Agreed.” A short, blonde girl approached them, smiling sweetly at Josh. “He’s the cutest one yet.”

“Hey Maddy,” Tyler said, pulling the girl into a hug with a warm smile. It was then that Josh made his escape to the kitchen, offering to help Kelly with the cooking. She let him chop the onions, doing her best to make him feel less awkward as Tyler caught up with his siblings.

“I know it can be scary,” she said, grabbing up the onions and handing Josh a pepper to cut up next, “meeting the family and all, especially with an aura like yours. Not a fan of anything permanent, I’m guessing. You don’t have to tell me anything,” she said, waving him off when he opened his mouth to speak, “I just want you to know that you’re welcome in our home, okay?”

Josh was left speechless, an overwhelming feeling of affection filling him. He worried for a moment he might cry, but he was thankfully saved by Tyler’s arrival, taking over the job of slicing peppers and making a heatless gibe at Josh’s food prep abilities. Unfortunately, that meant that Josh became open to questioning from Tyler’s siblings, and no subject was off the table.

“How serious is it between you guys?”

Josh, incredibly uncomfortable, shrugged. “Pretty serious.”

“Are you guys going to get married?”

“What about kids?”

“Guys!” Tyler called from the kitchen. “Stop torturing Josh!”

“But it’s so fun!” Madison called back, wide grin on her face. 

“Who are we torturing?” They all looked up to see an older man standing in the doorway. Tan skin, salt and pepper hair, and well built, Josh recognized him immediately. “Whoever it is, save a piece for me, will you?”

Tyler laughed, letting out a yell of “Dad!” before running to the man and letting himself be pulled into a tight hug. His dad ruffled his hair, taking a step back to look at him and remark about how he was getting along before he turned his attention toward Josh, expression darkening and causing Josh to jump up out of his seat and straighten up. 

“You’re Josh?” he asked, an eyebrow raised as his unimpressed gaze travelled over the young man. Josh visibly swallowed before replying with a slightly-strangled, “Yes, sir.” He continued to stare at Josh and Josh stared back, clearly nervous but putting up a strong front anyway, before smiling wide and clasping Josh’s shoulder tight.

“Welcome to the family, kid.”

⁂

“You’re kidding.”

Chris, Tyler’s dad, nodded enthusiastically, ignoring the way Kelly swatted at his shoulder in embarrassment. “It’s true! She was the best demon hunter in her day, tell him, sweetheart.”

They were all seated at the dinner table, eating homemade Gumbo (apparently, Kelly had spent some time in New Orleans, studying voodoo for her college dissertation) and recounting stories from days gone by. After some light back and forth arguing, Kelly eventually gave in, taking a large sip of wine and winking at Josh before starting in. “The demons called my the Light of Heaven, not for my purity, but my tendency to set them on fire with Holy Oil.”

“I remember the first time mom took me and Tyler on a demon hunt,” Zack remarked. “We were so scared, I’m pretty sure one of us peed our pants at one point.”

“I’m pretty sure that was _you,”_ Tyler said pointedly.

“And _I’m_ pretty sure I had to clean you _both_ up,” Kelly said, making the entire table chuckle as Tyler and Zack blushed bright red.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Josh said, turning to Chris, “how did you two meet?”

“Well,” Chris said, smiling fondly at his wife before turning back to Josh. “I used to work for the Servants of the Light, recruiting potential students and teachers, getting hard-to-find ingredients, stuff like that. Well, one day, I get the order to recruit some young hot-shot demon hunting witch. Now I’ll admit, I had a little bit of an ego back then, so I was fu— _screwed,_ before I even opened the door. Because when I did, I walked straight into a trap.” 

He looked accusingly at his wife, who had her hands buried in her face as she laughed silently. He chuckled as well, shaking his head before returning to the story. “I was trapped in a ball of fire for hours since Miss ‘Professional Demon Hunter’ couldn’t understand that I _wasn’t a demon.”_

“It all worked out in the end, though,” Jay interjected, and Kelly and Chris shared a fond glance, her hand coming to rest over his on the table. 

“Yeah,” she said. “It did.”

When he felt Tyler’s fingers tangle with his under the table, Josh smiled so wide his cheeks began to hurt.

⁂

Once they had managed to escape Tyler’s family and made it back to the apartment, laden down with tupperware containers filled with far too much food for them, they practically collapsed, exhausted after so much socializing. Tyler watched tiredly as Josh opened up one of the plastic containers, calling over Oscar and Ruby for dinner.

“So,” he said, catching Josh’s attention, “how do you think it went?”

Josh shrugged. “I feel like I just stepped into a fairy ring. But, like, in a good way, you know?”

Tyler nodded. He let his head fall back, body sagging against the wall like there was no reason to try and support the weight of his own body anymore. He slowly fell over until his head was in Josh’s lap, a hand in his hair gently massaging at his scalp. 

“I’m in love with you and it terrifies me,” Josh whispered. 

“Why?”

“Because I don’t think I’ll ever be okay if you stop loving me.”

Tyler turned his head, grabbing onto the man’s hand and pulling it down to kiss his knuckles. “I’ll always love you. Even if we break up, fall in love with other people, there will always be a part of me that still belongs to you.”

In that moment, collapsed against the wall as the lights of the city at night filtered in through the window, the two boys exposed their souls and Josh, for the first time in a very long time, felt like he was part of a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	23. Tyler Is The Batman

“Hey Tyler?”

“Hmm.”

“How did you get into magic?”

He looked up from the book his nose had been buried in, staring at Josh curiously. “Why do you want to know?”

Josh shrugged. “Well, after meeting your family, it’s understandable that I’m a little bit curious.”

“Fair enough,” Tyler replied, chuckling. He placed his book down, crawling over the bed and dropping down to the floor to sit next to where Josh was leaning against the mattress. 

“I guess I was always into it,” he said, letting his head fall to rest on Josh’s shoulder. “I just knew that it was my endgame, you know? Like sure, I could go off and live a normal, boring life, but in the end I’d always come back to it.”

“What do you mean?”

Tyler sighed, mumbling under his breath before replying. “Magic is— well, it’s complicated to say the least. It sort of just, exists, you know? It doesn’t need to explain anything to anyone. It has nothing to prove and nothing to be. It just is. Is any of this making sense?”

“Not really, but go on.”

The boy snickered, rolling his eyes fondly. “Well, there are basically two types of witches: those who practice magic and those who _are_ magic. Anyone can use it if they know how, but if you have magic in you, it’s always going to be there. You’ll be pulled to the practice, like an unscratchable itch that’s beneath your skin.”

Josh nodded, continuing to listen as Tyler went on. “I always knew I’d be pulled back, so why fight it? I like practicing, I like helping people and coming up with new ways to solve old problems. I love that this is my life.

“There was a time when I wanted to do something great. Like, really have an impact on the world, you know? Being a witch is helping from the shadows, you can’t reveal yourself or tell anyone about what you did. You’re the silent hero, in a way.”

“You are the Batman.”

“I hate you,” Tyler groaned, but laughed nonetheless. “But honestly, it sucks that nobody knows your name or what you did for them. People step all over you, not realizing that they’d probably be a lot worse off if you didn’t exist. It’s a thankless existence.

“I wanted to be a musician once, you know. Write songs that would help people, make them feel like they weren’t alone in their struggles. My parents even bought me a keyboard for christmas one year, but it never worked out. I got so caught up in magic and learning about everything the world doesn’t see that I ended up forgetting about the whole thing.” 

He laughed, humorless. “Ironic, isn’t it? I ended up being the one who felt alone.”

Josh let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, turning to kiss the boy’s forehead. “You’re never alone,” he whispered, hoping with all his heart that Tyler would believe it.

And if the next day a keyboard showed up in the apartment and Josh complained a little more about never having cigarettes, neither boy would say anything about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	24. Duct Tape Fixes Everything

_“Hey Josh?”_

“Yeah?”

_“I think I might have broken the universe.”_

Josh sighed, hanging up his phone before leaving the grocery store and making his way back home. “Why can’t we just have small domestic adventures?” he muttered under his breath, shaking his head and ignoring the weird looks people were sending his way. “Like searching for the right brand of yogurt, or standing in line at the DMV?” 

When he reached the apartment, he was greeted by a panicked Tyler who wouldn’t stop him terrified rambling to tell Josh what exactly was wrong. Eventually Josh had enough, pushing his hand against the boy’s mouth and effectively silencing him.

“Get it together,” he said, not unkind, “today’s not the end of the world.” he paused before adding with a smirk, “Well, not any more than usual.”

He removed his hand from the boy’s mouth. “Now, what’s the problem?”

Tyler dumbly pointed to a swirling black vortex in the middle of their apartment, crackling with magic and electricity.

“Well, shit.”

“That’s what I said,” Tyler replied, exasperatedly rolling his eyes. “I’ve tried everything I could possibly think of, and nothing worked!”

“Are you sure you tried everything?” Josh asked, still staring at the terrifying portal. He couldn’t take his eyes off of it, the way it spun round and round and round and round and—

“Trust me, I’ve been doing this ‘magic’ thing a lot longer than you have, I think I’d know how to fix an interdimensional portal.”

“Did you try duct tape?”

Tyler looked at Josh, expression one of complete incredulity. “I broke the very fabric of reality, Josh. _You can’t just patch it up with duct tape._ ”

Josh shrugged. “Watch me.”

He grabbed the silver roll they kept in the cabinet, walking warily towards the vortex in case it started to suck him in. It did no such thing, however, so he grabbed the sides and pulled them shut, using duct tape to hold them there. Josh turned to face Tyler, a smug smirk on his face.

“That… that breaks every law of magic I’ve ever been taught.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	25. Bound

“Are you sure about this?”

Josh smiled softly, hands going to cup Tyler’s cheeks and bring his gaze up. He pressed a soft kiss to the boy’s lips, pulling away and nodding. “I’m sure.”

Tyler took a deep breath before kneeling between Josh’s legs. “Okay.”

The first jabs of the needle hurt, more than a tattoo machine did. Tyler would have to take breaks in between pricks, having to dip the sewing needle into the vial of ink before starting again. He’d enchanted it beforehand, adding drops of both their blood while chanting over it. Josh, nervous, had held onto Tyler the entire time, wanting to always be touching the boy in some way.

Tyler had brought up the bonding ritual first, not-so-subtly hinting at it by leaving the spell book open in places that Josh was sure to find it: in the bathroom, on the pillow, even in the freezer under the emergency vodka. Eventually Josh had confronted him, sitting him down and shoving the book back in his face. 

They’d discussed it at length, what it meant for both of them and their future together. It wasn’t marriage (not yet, anyway), but a much deeper connection; they’d be magically bound until they died, and even in death they’d still be a part of one another. It was a promise of forever.

Tyler finished soon enough, his letters crooked and off-center but Josh wouldn’t have it any other way. They switched positions, Josh settled between Tyler’s legs as he tried to ignore the pulses of magic throbbing through his leg. He picked up the needle and, at Tyler’s nod, began to poke.

He could feel as Tyler winced at the sting and rubbed at the inside of his thighs in a soothing manner whenever he paused to dip into the ink vial. He finished his name faster than Tyler did, smaller and more compact than the other boy’s writing. At the last jab though, the shock that hit him was jolting, physically pushing him towards Tyler who seemed to have experienced something similar. He found himself clinging to the boy, arms wrapped around his torso with his face buried in his stomach. Tyler was bent over him, one hand fisted in the shirt on his back and the other tangled tightly in his hair. 

“I feel it,” Tyler whispered.

“Feel what?”

“Everything.”

Josh pulled back to look at Tyler, meeting eyes as wide as fairy rings. It didn’t make sense, but he understood it perfectly; it was as though they were one person, separate bodie but one mind. He could feel Tyler’s thoughts, taste his emotions, see the sensations running through the boy’s body. Tyler had explained that it would be intense at first, but Josh wasn’t expecting anything like this. 

He surged up, knocking the boy over onto the bed as their mouths messily collided, open and wet and messy and _desperate._ Shirts came off quickly enough, though with a little difficulty as neither boy wanted to stop pressing against the other long enough to remove a layer. It took slightly longer for them to work their boxers off completely, getting stuck around thighs as their hips were grinding frantically together. 

They eventually managed to get naked, Josh stretching Tyler as quickly as he dared before flipping him over, pushing in, and setting a brutally fast pace. Tyler was on his stomach, legs splayed and hands bunched in the sheets next to his head as Josh laid on top of him, one arm underneath his chest and rubbing at his nipple with the other clenched, gentle but firm, around his neck.

Magic shimmered like diamonds in the air around them as Josh rolled his hips against Tyler’s ass, licking and biting at the boy’s neck. Tyler couldn’t hold back his moans, humming against Josh’s hand as he begged brokenly for more.

It didn’t take long for Josh to cum, hips twitching as he buried himself inside of Tyler with a groan before collapsing on the boy.

“Did you—”

“Yeah.”

Josh nodded, still panting hard. “Okay.”

They lay there for a while, too exhausted to even try to move. Eventually, though, Josh rolled onto his side, making to pull out when a whine from Tyler stopped him.

“Don’t,” the boy whispered, voice absolutely wrecked. “I— I need to feel you.”

Josh nearly moaned at that, biting on his lip to not make a sound. He didn’t pull out, though, just pulled Tyler along with him so they were spooning. He pulled the blankets over them before wrapping his arms around the boy, pressing soft kisses to the back of his neck. 

“I love you,” he whispered against golden skin. “Now and always.”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	26. Talking Is Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that wtm reference tho

“You are _such_ a little bitch!”

“Piss off, Pete,” Josh said, finishing off his drink and waving to Frank for another. The man topped him off before shrugging at him, saying, “Pete has a point, you know.”

“Not you too,” Josh groaned, dropping his head onto the table. Pete reached over to pat as his shoulder sympathetically, sighing as he took in the mess of a man in front of him. 

“Look,” he said, “I know that you love Tyler, and he knows that too. So if you want to ask him, then do it.”

Frank came up to them, leaning on the bar across from them. “I’m with Pete on this one, man. He’d say yes, you know.”

“Guys,” Josh said, exasperated and pushing Pete’s hand away, “It’s more complicated than you think. There’s a lot that goes into this, not to mention the aftermath of it all.”

Pete rolled his eyes. “You’ve faced demons, dragons, and a fucking _god,_ but talking to your boyfriend scares you?” Josh was just about to reply when Frank interrupted him.

“Josh,” he said, reaching out to grab the man’s shoulders, “Tyler loves you. Hell, he magically bound himself to you. You can talk to him about this.”

Josh nodded, taking a deep breath. He stood up to leave, starting to walk out when he turned back around suddenly. “You guys are sure about this?”

“YES,” Frank and Pete said, exasperated. Pete made a shooing motion and Josh nodded, walking away with determination in his step.

⁂

“Hey Tyler?”

“Yeah?”

“How do you feel about collars?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	27. If Tyler Joseph Was An Animal He'd Be A RAPtile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek what this is

“You idiot.”

“Tyler, I—”

“You stupid, _fucking_ idiot.”

Tyler attempted to cross his arms, but the were too short so he just held them against his chest. Josh could still feel the full force of his glare; he would have preferred to stare a basilisk in the eye rather than Tyler in that moment. 

“I swear I didn’t know. Pete asked me for a favor and—”

“You trusted PETE of all people?”

Josh held up his hands in defense. “I didn’t know the object was cursed!”

Tyler rolled his eyes. “Everyone knows that pickled eyes of newt are cursed, dumbass.”

“Well I didn’t.”

He rolled his eyes and turned away from Josh, crawling over the edge of the counter and looking down. They were stuck up here until it wore off, and even then, he wasn’t certain that Ruby or Oscar wouldn’t get to them first. Do cats or weasels even eat lizards?

“You’re never going to let this go, are you?” Josh asked.

“Not until we’re both human,” Tyler replied. “And even then I’m going to kick your ass for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	28. Something Goes Wrong But (For Once) They Don’t Have To Fix It

The world was still dark when Josh opened his eyes. This would have been perfectly normal if it wasn’t two in the afternoon. He sat up and looked out the window, seeing nothing but shimmering darkness. He sighed, standing up and grabbing his gun before looking around for Tyler. The boy was seated on top of the kitchen counter and drinking a cup of coffee while reading a book, as though the world wasn’t ending right outside their apartment. 

“There’s some left in the pot,” Tyler said, nose still buried in his book as he vaguely waved his mug in Josh’s direction. The man blinked, confused, but sighed and poured himself a cup anyway. 

“So, nice weather we’re having, isn’t it?” he asked, voice still hoarse from being half asleep.  
“It’s not the weather,” Tyler mumbled, “”s the moths.”

Josh didn’t understand what that meant. Tyler pointed him to the window and that’s when he noticed: the darkness was actually just billions of moths pressed together and wriggling furiously. He made a face before going back to lean against the counter next to Tyler.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“Plague, maybe,” the boy said, turning the page, “but that would be locusts, so onto the next explanation. You remember that Teen Titans episode with the moth guy?”

Josh was just about to nod when billions of ear-piercing shrieks sounded, all of the moths screaming in agony; Josh didn’t even know moths could scream. A bright light filled the room and, looking over to the window, the boys saw that the moths were all burning.

“Okay then,” Tyler said, putting his book down and turning to pull Josh between his legs. He held the man close, running one hand through his hair while the other held onto his mug, and Josh couldn’t help the contented sigh that escaped him. 

“This is just what I needed— a cup of coffee and for you to pretend that stuff like swarms of moths spontaneously combusting happens all the time.”

They stayed like that for a while, wrapped up in each other and slowly sipping at coffee until eventually Josh pulled away with a yawn, kissing the boy softly on the lips before smiling tiredly.

“I’m going back to bed,” he said, “Wake me up if the world ends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	29. Guess Who's Getting A Christmas Fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter will be posted tomorrow :D

It was too cold for Josh to be running for his life. 

He was in the woods, zig-zagging a path behind trees and bushes in an attempt to shield himself, although it wasn’t working out too well. The snow was slowing him down and the laws of physics didn’t really apply to magic so projectiles didn’t have to travel in straight lines. In other words, he was fucked.

He peeked out from the tree trunk he was currently taking shelter behind, not seeing any sign of his pursuer. He knew all too well though that just because he couldn’t see anyone, it didn’t mean that there wasn’t anyone there. He decided to take his chances and made a mad dash for a bush that was a couple yards away. He was so close, just about to dive behind when—

_Thwack!_

Josh crawled across the ground and rolled behind the bush, rubbing at the back of his head which was smarting from the hit he had taken. When he heard that infuriating giggle, he couldn’t help but yell out. 

“You throw another enchanted snowball at me and we’re going to have a problem!”

He shouldn’t have been surprised when Tyler’s next snowball hit him in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


	30. All Is Well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :')

“It’s Halloween motherfuckers!” 

Josh was in stitches as he watched a panicked Frank try to get Pete down from the chandelier. Everyone was either shitfaced or having a really good time (most were both), Halloween being the one holiday where the magic folk of the city didn’t have to pretend to be human. Vampires, demons, fae and faeries (there’s a difference, don’t mess it up or you’ll end up with pixie dust in unspeakable places), werewolves, witches, and even the occasional ghost; everyone was dressed up as themselves and enjoying life. 

The Hollow was alive and thrumming with all sorts of supernatural energy, and Josh was certain that Frank had to be more magic than he let on because there was no shortage of any type of alcohol. He wasn’t drinking too much as he had plans for later that night, plans that involved Tyler and a bed (and a wall, and the kitchen counter, and maybe even a window). He had spent the last half hour casually skimming over the crowd, looking for the boy, but hadn’t found him as of yet. He figured ‘fuck it’ and downed the rest of his drink, placing the glass back on the bar and shooting Frank a sympathetic look before making his way upstairs. 

Mark, the owner of the shop and apparently the most powerful wizard in the city, had enchanted the place so the noise from below couldn’t be heard in the storefront. Josh waved at him as he passed by, holding back a chuckle as he noticed Mark’s fond exasperation at yet another being passing through his shop. As he made his way to the door, he pulled out a cigarette and was just about to light it when he finally found Tyler.

His boyfriend was handing out candy to kids outside the shop, smiling and complimenting them all on their costumes. He himself was wearing an oversized witches hat, and Josh snickered as he noticed a broom leaning against the wall behind him. He tucked his cigarette behind his ear, not wanting to smoke around children, before leaning against the wall next to the broom and watching Tyler interact with the kids.

“My lady,” he said, bowing over exaggeratedly to a giggling little girl in a pink princess dress before giving her a generous handful of candy; Josh couldn’t help but giggle a little bit too. Next came two boys dressed as superheroes, Batman and Spider-Man, and he solemnly thanked them for protecting the city from “bad guys like him,” pointing to Josh. He snarled at them, putting on a tough guy look but breaking face as soon as the boy dressed as Spider-Man stepped between him and Tyler, promising to protect the man.

The last in the group was a young girl dressed as Hermione Granger. She waved her wand at Tyler and proclaimed, “Look! I’m a witch too!” Tyler smiled so wide his cheeks hurt.

“Now remember,” he said, taking on a serious face. “It's Levi- _o_ -sa, not Levio- _sa._ ” The girl giggled, nodding. 

“Try it,” he said, holding out the bowl with a smile.

If Josh hadn’t been listening for it, he wouldn’t have heard the quiet incantation Tyler murmured as the girl waved her wand and said the magic words. The look on her face when the candy floated out and into her bag was priceless. Tyler held a finger to his lips, silently telling her to not tell a soul about it, and she just nodded, eyes wide and mouth hanging open, before running off excitedly shouting, “Wingardium Leviosa!”

Josh laughed and pushed away from the wall, coming to stand next to Tyler and wrapping an arm around the boy’s waist to pull him close. Tyler rested his head on Josh’s shoulder, chuckling as Josh remarked, “She’s going to think she’s a witch now.”

“She has magic in her,” Tyler replied, turning his head to nose at Josh’s neck. “She made the candy levitate, you know. I just pushed it into the bag.” He sighed, laughing softly. “Who knows, one day she might even meet a bounty hunter and fall in love with him, and they’ll spend the rest of their lives together.”

Josh should have dressed up as the Grinch, because he swore he felt his heart grow three sizes. He turned to kiss Tyler, smiling against the boy’s lips. “You know, the rest of our lives might not be very long, considering all the shit we get into.”

Tyler smiled wider and kissed him again. “As long as I get to spend it with you, it’s enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone who left kudos on, bookmarked, commented on, or even just read this fic. You guys are honestly amazing and you have no idea how amazing it is to know that people like the stuff I write.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it :)
> 
> stay spooky
> 
>  
> 
> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr

**Author's Note:**

> :D


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